I began my day at a patisserie (merci jerome!) near my hotel. My last time in Paris I spoke no French. This time I wanted to at least attempt French as often as I could. This was the perfect time to practice. “un croissant chocolat et un cafe, s’il the plait. Merci!” Success! I took the metro to Invalides, crossed the Pont Alexander III and then walked along the Seine, making my way to the Jardin des Tuileries (Tuileries Garden) to sit and relax.

I found a shady area with an empty, iconic green chair, and was ready to do some reading, writing, and croissant eating.

As I sat deeply engrossed in my book, a frenchman approached me. “Parlez vous francaise?” I shook my head and responded, “No.” He asked if I spoke English and when he received confirmation that I did, proceeded to explain that he and his girlfriend give massages. I stared blankly at him and he laughed and said, “It’s not what you think!” (doubtful) and continued to explain that they needed to “touch three places” and then the individual being massaged would say which place felt the best. I looked at him in disbelief and thought this couldn’t get any weirder. And he then proceeded to SQUEEZE. MY. FOOT.

WTF

I said “Non, merci.” He said, “ok,” and immediately backed away. Completely grossed out, I said, “Bonne journee (Have a good day) and he walked away.

So freaking weird.

After I shook the weirdness off me, I went back to reading my book and received an Instagram notification from Jay Swanson (the author of the very book I was reading in the very city he lived in!) So cool.

Oh! An update to the weird massage guy: As I continued to stroll along the Tuileries, I happened upon “le creep” again. He approached yet another solo female and was asking her if she spoke French. She said yes and he began his “creep pitch” She seemed super uncomfortable and finally said “no (insert something in french), and walked away.

Sound off in the comments for what you think this guys end game was. Legit massage? Human trafficking? Kink?

Links, Tips, and Locations:

Patisserie: merci jerôme 66 Av. de la Motte-Picquet, 75015, Paris, France

Great spot to sit with a book: Jardin de Tuileries Pl. de la Concorde, 75001 Paris, France

Book: Sea of the Unknown by Jay Swanson