I took a break from writing for awhile because I didn’t have it in me. I was in a dark place. Dublin brought me lower than I had been in years. Between the loneliness, the pressure (Pam-made) to create and post content, and the fast paced nature of the trip, I was lost. I couldn’t find me anymore. My last night in Dublin, was spent laying in bed, crying, looking up return flights home. I thought to myself, I just have to make it another week and then I wouldn’t be alone anymore, since I had a friend joining me. I just needed to get to London so I could get back to me. Plus, I had Liverpool and Bath still to visit and both places promised to be a cool and relaxed time.

And then it happened, the thing that broke me: lost luggage. I know what you’re probably thinking, “Yeah, lost luggage sucks and all, but is it really something that could break a person?” In my case, yes. With everything else I was feeling, plus the utter hopelessness and helplessness of trying to get my bag back, yeah, I was shattered. I didn’t eat for 24 hours. I vomited every time I cried, which was basically all day. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to be out of Ireland and in England. And in Liverpool! As a Beatles fan, this place is basically my Disneyland! But I just couldn’t shake the sadness. As hard as I tried, there was just something missing.

Solo travel is great, of course. But it’s not always sparkles and rainbows. It’s exhausting. I can never truly turn my brain off. The loneliness can be palpable. I never felt clean either, since I was washing my clothes in the sink. Do I still love traveling? Yes. Full stop. Do I want to travel long term? Not this way. Something I have learned about myself through this adventure, is that I am not meant to be a nomad. I like to stay put. I need space for myself and the ability to do absolutely nothing for a day or two. That can be difficult when you’re always on the move.

I’ll be making some tweaks here and there to my agenda for my remaining time. Less regimented, more flexibility. While it’s had its low points, this trip has been full of magic, happiness, and adventure, and I can’t wait to see what’s still to come!